By Nick BR
The two of you had the talk! You know, the one where you decide once and for all that the relationship is NOT working. All you walk away with is an uneasy feeling, a healthy dose of anger and resentment and a feeling of panic. What will you do now? Is it really over? Is there anything you can do to get your boyfriends back? Most women, in this 'after break-up' phase make so many mistakes that it's a wonder they don't get picked up for stalking. So, why would smart women behave this way?
The answer is easy, fear and panic. Even though it isn't like you to be jealous or clingy, insecure or even defeated - you feel like you have to do something, anything - to take control of the situation and get your ex back. Partly you are right. Relationship experts do agree that there is a pretty small window of opportunity in which relationships can reconcile. However, if you cross this bridge to quickly, your actions come across as desperate and needy, which will only confirm your ex's motives for breaking up in the first place.
Smart women know that in order to get the ex boyfriend back, they need to take advantage of what is considered a cooling off period. For one thing, if you make motions to reconcile too quickly, the result will be pretty ugly. You will likely rehash old arguments or get so angry that you will say personal things just to hurt your ex. The reason you do this is because you feel like you have lost control, and that any communication is better than none at all. Plus, since you feel miserable about the break-up you will subconsciously try to make sure that he does as well. This is why the cooling off period is so important.
During this cooling off period, try to act as normal as possible. If you happen to see your ex, (or if he is a co-worker) put on your best face and be amicable at best. If you try to completely ignore (and work at it), you will come across as childish and bitter. But don't call or email, text, or send pictures of yourself to him during the cooling off period.
This is the time for you and for him to reflect! Plus, by taking advantage of a cooling off period you can learn to react and perhaps reconcile the relationship based on techniques that at the very least prove you're sane!
Another reason the cooling off period works so well for both of you, is because it gives him time to realize he misses you. If you are constantly annoying him, calling him, or picking fights - he doesn't get the time to experience the loss of you.
Most importantly, the experts say that when women react cool after a break-up, and don't become obsessive stalkers or resort to out of control emotions, men are actually IMMEDIATELY considering reconciliation. It isn't that they want you to behave like a crazy person, but they do rely on and expect you to be disparaged and hurt. When your not, and when you commit to the cooling off period - your chances of reconciling improve tenfold. Smart women know this.
No matter how hard it is to refrain from picking up the phone, from showing up at places where you know he will be, or sending him a text - DON'T!
David P. Price is a love and relationship expert. For more great information, please go to Get Boyfriend Back.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nick_BR
No comments:
Post a Comment